How much have things really changed? Even a casual viewing of popular soap operas reveals the desired attributes of ‘traditional’ Indian women. Matrimonial ads continue to specify the virginal requirements of brides. And even an iconic movie star like Amitabh Bachchan is not embarrassed to state he approves of actress Aishwarya Rai (his daughterin-law) because she is ‘homely and domesticated’ (read: not a sexual adventuress). While young Indian men have relaxed the double standards a little, when it comes to choosing a partner they still reserve their respect for the ‘well-brought-up’ girl (read: conservative and untouched). Words like ‘slut’, ‘whore’, ‘pimpette’, ‘bitch’ continue to be hurled at any woman who society believes sleeps around or indulges in sexual escapades. Men? Oh, they have an entirely
separate set of rules. ‘Mard toh mard hai,’ everybody agrees....The thing is, Indians deep down believe sex is ‘dirty’. It is referred to as ‘gandi baat’. Nobody wants to discuss the subject in an open, natural way. There is far too much guilt involved. And too much revulsion, too. Bodily fluids are considered distasteful — which could explain why kissing itself is thought of by many as being ‘un-Indian’. Adults plant chummas on children. And there it ends. No wonder kissing on screen is still seen as a big issue, worthy of extensive media attention.
The colour of money is no longer an issue — you’ve got it, flaunt it. Dirhams, dollars, euros or yen. No problem. Besides, everybody has money these days — God knows where it’s coming from. And nobody cares about all these annoying statistics. Poverty line? Ooh...is that what Sabya’s latest collect at Fashion Week is called? Kewl. Farmers dying in Vidarbha? Come on, girls, let’s host a Charity Auction. Call that Princess of Kadkaland as patron. Champagne on the house. Dress code, minimal. Must do something for these poor guys, yaar. Poverty no longer registers. In fact, poverty angers most Indians. We are upset when we are reminded of an old blight. It’s really a nuisance to be told the India story isn’t all that rosy, after all. In the present rah-rah scenario, we want rainbows and butterflies on our mental screensavers. Not begging bowls and emaciated bodies. We’re done with that image. Done, done, done. Take it away. Banish it. Oh please...not that ghisa-pita rubbish again. Young India is going great guns...nobody can spoil the party. One can sense the euphoria, feel the excitement. India is on a roll, brother. Don’t be a bloody spoilsport and talk about farmers’ deaths and stuff like that. People die, man...people die. But the point is: you can get a life.
Sure.
Sigmund Freud spent a lifetime wondering what women want, and came up with a blank. Most sociologists feel ditto when it comes to providing an answer to another zillion-dollar question: What do Indians really want? The obvious answers are ‘Freedom’, ‘Democracy’, ‘Money’, ‘Education’. All these sound boring as hell, plus, I wonder if those are really what today’s Indian wants. ‘Money’ is by far the unchallenged numero uno requirement, but the other three have little meaning, since they’re a given. An old friend raising a twenty-year-old daughter came to see me the other day. He mentioned how our generation were told we’d have to wait patiently for rewards...whatever those would turn out to be. Work hard for the exams. Slog away, swot, swot, swot. Compete like crazy. Await results. Phew! First class in hand, work some more. Swot some more. Apply for a ‘decent’ job. Keep your fingers crossed. Land the job. Continue slaving. Wait for promotion. Keep slogging. Spend fifteen years or more in the same job. Get bored. Get restless. Marry sometime in between. Produce children. Hang in there. Grow middle-aged. Grow a paunch. Lose hair. Lose patience. Lose temper. Give up! End of story. End of life. But that’s not how it works today. Kids want it all. And they want it now. And they don’t all want to work that hard, either. It’s about having ‘chill time’, ‘personal time’, a ‘life plan’ that includes frequent holidays. Kids want to ‘hang’. And they want to ‘connect’. Mainly over the Net. No personal contact — or very little. No emotional investment. Or very little. Just lots of stimulation and virtual relationships that include virtual gifts ($1 for a pair of sexy thongs) on Facebook. Thrilling, or wot?
Mangta hai, kya...yeh bolo...I dared to ask this potentially explosive question of a twentyone-year-old. She didn’t miss a beat before answering, ‘Money’. Was I surprised, disappointed, shocked? Not at all. I’d met an honest person. A global thinker! Isn’t that what the young really, really want, no matter where they come from?
If India indeed has a ‘Mayawati honeymoon’ on the cards, it may not be such a bad thing. A fire-breathing dragon lady entirely in touch with the aam janata may come as a welcome change from the sabjanta World Bankwallahs, who, some fear, have sold Indian interests to American cronies — cleverly camouflaged, of course. Besides, if Mayawati’s reign turns out to be short and far-fromsweet, it will pave the way for the emperor-in-waiting, Rahul Gandhi. That Rahul is being groomed for the family business is obvious enough. Regardless of his ability or reluctance, Rahul is the anointed one. Indians believe that the fourth generation is the tricky one. Decline sets in by the third, while the fourth finishes off the job! Tracking Rahul will be a fascinating exercise for political analysts. As of now, Rahul looks all set to glide into history books — a dimpled prince with a penchant for faux pas. But seriously cute, nevertheless!
Everything but everything in India can be traced back to that tiny two-letter word ‘Ma’! The great mother figure is the one single constant that has not been thrown out in the current cultural revolution. Nearly everything else has. The matriarch possesses such a terrifying hold over us that to deny her rightful position is to invite the wrath of the gods.Will the next generation be equally attached? Equally sensitive? Doubtful. From the ‘Ma’ generation to the ‘Me’ generation — one tiny letter of the alphabet, but what a sea change has taken place in under twenty years.
Excerpted from Shobhaa De’s ‘Superstar India: From Incredible to Unstoppable’, to be launched on April 29 by Penguin India
